| The Very Thing That Cheapens Me | |||
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| Summary: Shopping, shocks, and bonding: all in a day's work. | |||
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THE SHIROGANE
EXCELLEN BROWNING'S DOOR
THEN
The door opens and then, instead of a box, there's a five-foot-zero blue-haired girl, staring up, face blank.
"I need help."
EARTH
TOKYO-02
NOW
And that's how Rei Ayanami and Excellen Browning ended up in one of the multiple futuristic shopping districts of Tokyo-02, the sort of brightly-lit, intensely-colored place that looks like it might well have been made out of randomly matched neon Legos. Rei is in her A-LAWS uniform, owning nothing more casual with which to shop in. Her red eyes scan this way and that, taking in the sights as if surveying it all through a glass window.
But then, she made it clear she's not here to window-shop.
"Thank you, Miss Excellen," Rei says quietly, her Japanese accent thick, her English a bit of an indecipherable mush as a result. It doesn't help that she speaks so quietly that sometimes it's a strain to hear her over the din of consumerism. "I wouldn't know how to do this on my own."
Rei turns her head over and up, staring at Excellen like she'd stare at a zoo exhibit, albeit with perhaps less overt interest. She seems like she might be about to say something, but whatever that something is, it never comes, and Rei eventually just turns again and looks straight ahead.
THE SHIROGANE
BEFORE
A rather disheveled looking Excellen peers down into blank red eyes, leaning on the doorframe as she takes in the request.
Then runs her fingers back through bright blonde hair, having finally processed the statement. "At 2 in the morning..?"
NOW
Apparently the answer was 'Yes' because the ATX pilot is indeed hanging out in Tokyo-02 with one of the two members of Minerva's Lance that she happens to pay any attention to.
Also dressed in her A-LAWS uniform, and by her uniform we mean *her* unform, the blonde has several cups of coffee to hotwire herself into some semblance of wakefulness. Occasionally stealing a glance at the shorter gal, the odd hitch in her accent has her both curious and worried. Between her weird vocal short-outs and the excessive accent creeping in, and having seen how NERV handles its pilots in action, Excellen is a little...concerned.
At least Johnny being alive and well and...well, mostly sane (SHE HOPES) is one weight off her shoulders. And this little expedition should prove most enlightening for all concerned.
"You're welcome, Rei, s'not a problem," she assures the bluenette with a smile, shaking off the last vestige of sleep. "Did ya have any specific look in mind or---no, no, you said you didn't know what to do, that's why I'm here." The exact whys of asking Excellen are only half-apparent, though.
Lips pout, before white gloved hand gestures at large. "We have all day and a lot of shops ahead of us. You wanna start with casual or somethin' more formal?"
Rei has her hands folded in front of her while she walks. One hand grips the other loosely, fingers curled inward to her palm, hanging over her lap as her duster fails to swoop or swoosh in the course of walking, the way it so dramatically does whenever most anyone else goes marching. Rei's hands bear the scars of one of her most recent entanglements -- pink scar tissue stands out against white flesh, dotting her hands and making a strong case for the idea that Rei was at some point crucified in the classical take-no-prisoners style. Rei is wearing the golden hair clips Excellen gave her, too, her bangs kept free of her face (although she could not be said to have put much care in her hairstyle otherwise). Upon closer inspection, she even appears to be wearing minimal traces of make-up, like someone dipping their toe into the pool rather than diving in headfirst.
In any event, it's a long time before Rei replies. For a few seconds, it seems like she didn't even hear the question -- she's busy staring this way and that, vacantly observing the displays. She hasn't yet had any visible reaction to any of them -- nothing stands out, perhaps, nothing says 'this is me, this is what I want.'
More likely: Rei just doesn't know.
"Casual," Rei says, finally breaking her silence. Then there's a beat, a much shorter pause before Rei's head turns to face Excellen. "No. Not casual." The girl, for all of her inexpressiveness, is clearly trying to put a word to the concept she wants: "..."
Finally: "Fun. ...like you."
Excellen's coat billows. It doesn't require the powerwalk of danger to flare dramatically, but the cut deliberately flows around her legs in an eyecatching manner. There's very little about her outfit that doesn't catch the eye, which is how she likes it, and also why it looks so wrong on Rei's frame.
She's still of a mind to ensure the girl gets a version of her own, but, babysteps.
The marks on her hand turn bright blue eyes dark a moment, spied at in sidelong glances; the use of the hairclips and tentative attempt at makeup advice seem to have gone a long way -- for Rei. It's still pretty understated though, much like the girl herself. Which is why Excellen almost stumbles when Rei finally spits out what she's after.
It is, perhaps, the most unexpected compliment from the most unlikely source that she's ever had.
There's an outright stare as this request is processed, before the blonde smiles warmly, as encouragingly as she can. "Awww, ya'll make a girl blush, Rei. But that kinda thinking is all wrong." Coming to a stop, she steps deliberately in front of the younger girl, waiting until she looks up at her before she continues.
"We need to find what's fun for /you/. Once you have that, you can make your own fun."
Casual is still a good place to start, however, which is why she gently reaches for Rei's wrist in order to tow the bluenette in her wake as she beelines for the nearest set of doors: Neo-Victoria's Secret, one of the best kept non-secrets when it comes to undergarments for ladies of all ages.....is not the destination in question. It is instead the store next door, for a particularly pricy looking outfitter with a wild mix of clothing colours and designs.
Neo-Hot Topic wishes it could charge these sums for the same sort of quality. "Hmmm, dresses or jeans.."
Totoro was destroyed in a single motion. Noriko was startled and quite badly shaken by that event, but...a Top Pilot can't be put down so easily, especially not when Coach walked her to one of the Exelion's R&D hangars about ten seconds after she got back aboard the Exelion.
What she saw there is the reason Noriko is up into Exelion's ship's night, pouring over the GN-XIII Operation Manual's technical specs section when she gets a text message from Excellen. She reeeeeeeeeeeaches across her bag of chips to grab it off the table, and then squints at it to see in the dim light. And then rubs her eyes to make sure she's not hallucinating, biting through the chip dangling out of her mouth. "/Huh/?"
The Exelion works on Japanese time, basically solely because its top three officers are all super duper NIPPON BANZAI kind of people. This does not really help the fact that it is currently in the orbit of Neptune. Noriko sighs, grabs the key to Buster Machine 1 off her dresser, and stalks out the door. This is gonna take a while.
A vague Coach-Sense in the back of Rei's head tingles. Rei stops in her walking for a moment to stare off at some nebulous middle distance, wondering what that means, when Excellen grabs her wrist and tugs her along into Neo Urban Outfitters or whatever this place is. Rei stands out amidst the furor of color like... well, like a girl dressed entirely in teal and grey whose flesh appears to have never been touched by sunlight even the once. Once again, Rei's blank stare seems to take in both everything and nothing.
As she surveys the contents of the store like she were about to take inventory, the t-shirt behind Rei proclaims in loud block letters: "STAY ALIVE IN '05." Once again -- or, rather, 'like always' -- Rei has to stop and think before Excellen's question receives any kind of answer. Her hands, separated by being tugged, now drop to her sides listlessly. This trip was her idea, and yet she doesn't seem to be having any fun. (Does she ever?)
Still, that's not to say Rei isn't interested, because she plainly cares enough to say: "Dresses." This is delivered with the kind of authority that comes from being a softspoken teenager with a noted deference to virtually any more dominant presence that comes within four miles of it. As in, not much at all. Rei sounds like she knows she wants dresses as opposed to jeans, but she sounds just tentative enough that if she were asked to explain herself, it would probably involve a lot of awkward silence (then again: Rei) and end up going nowhere in particular.
Rei makes her first hesitant steps inward, like Neil Armstrong making that one giant leap a billion years ago. She reaches out and touches a bright pink shirt -- but then releases it after barely a second, keeping her thoughts on the tactile experience to herself. After a moment, she drifts back to Excellen's side, like a child trying to avoid getting lost.
"I want to look like I care about looking good," Rei says, her disaffected tone suggesting that perhaps she doesn't /really/. In a rare moment of self-consciousness, though, she speaks up again almost immediately, struggling to correct herself: "I do care. But... I don't know how to..." Rei looks around at the store, which suddenly seems much bigger than it did a moment ago. "...start."
Like a pale pixel in a sea of colours, Rei doesn't stand out so much as she just fails entirely to blend in. Once destination is set, albeit after the typical wait time on the Rei Question Processing System, the blonde calmly skips by several rows of shirts, skirts, shorts and slacks to reach the intended destination. It IS almost summer now, so it isn't surprising that some neon shades are out in force.
Excellen, however, is having none of that, snorting in derision at the contents of one rail. What a waste of hanger space, srsly.
Having the younger girl following at her heels isn't a new experience, though this particular tagalong doesn't quite fit her usual parameters. Having come to a halt at the appropriate aisle, she waits for the First Child (mk.3) to spit out what she has to say patiently. She doesn't seem remotely surprised that she wouldn't know where to start; she has, after all, lived under NERV's thumb this whole time..
"Well, this is the right place to start.." Excellen comments offhand, one arm folding across her chest, upturned palm cupping the opposite elbow as she holds her chin. A very thoughtful pose. This does, after all, require some consideration. "The first thing we want to consider are colours."
Gently turning Rei's arm a little, she eyes the mark on her palm with no comment save the faintest drift of a brow. This.. Well, now is not the time or place, but it does help her with noting colours. "Usually, people try ta say 'you're a summer, or 'oh, you're such a spring person'! And usually it kinda works. Things like how pale you are, and if you're tenned or have dark hair or light hair affects these things." Leaning forward a bit, she tries to meet those unblinking red eyes without flinching. It is only mostly successful.
"You're kinda lucky, cuz you fit both the Winter /and/ Summer templates -- you're super pale, with hints of pink." And some blue veins, but details. "Soooo we'll start with lighter tones and pastels. Black and white are a bit too severe for you right now, and 'sides, they don't fit the fun category we're hopin' for."
Stepping behind Rei, she nudges the girl forward. "Go in and take a look. See what colours jump out at ya, and we'll go from there." ..What, no design discussions?
Rei's expression doesn't change, but it's plain to see that she hesitates when nudged. Her red eyes stay fixed on Excellen's for a moment -- even if Excellen isn't quite comfortable meeting her gaze, she seems more than comfortable staring at the whites of the older woman's eyes. She listens intently to all of the comments and advice, mentally taking stock of every detail, the same way she would if she were being told how to use a Mobile Suit. (Not that she gets told to use many Mobile Suits, but, you know.)
Still, when she's nudged, Rei's shoulders jostle and she doesn't break eye contact. A second passes, and then her head slowly turns to face the task ahead of her. Rei lets some kind of reaction slip -- she draws in a long, silent breath, as if she were preparing to dive into the ocean. It's another few seconds before she takes a step forward, as tentatively as if she were confronting a lion without whip /or/ chair. The step is followed by another, and another. It's like watching a child learn to walk, although slightly (more than slightly) more pathetic.
Rei's eyes scan the aisle, drifting from one side to another. Her hands stay dropped at her sides, arms limp. Her head does the occasional gentle roll or pivot, and after a bit it becomes clear: Rei is actually surveying every individual dress on the racks, including ones that do not actually fit her (why someone who is as tiny as she is would be looking at "Mediums" is beyond anyone, but it does show how much Rei knows about what she's doing).
Eventually, Rei finds herself in the correct size range, and then her investigation becomes even more meticulous. A hand comes up -- her fingertips graze the shoulder or strap of every dress in turn, staring at the textile products she's examining with such concentration that she may or may not be about to manifest laser eyes.
Finally, though, Rei stops. This is as close as she gets to a 'voila!' moment, although it has the hesitancy of a 'voila?' moment. Slowly, after freeze-framing herself for a few beats, Rei removes a dress and holds it up to herself, turning to face Excellen.
The dress is cotton, fairly featureless, and a light blue that's nonetheless a few degrees darker than her hair. It's short-sleeved, with white contrast cuffs terminating mid-bicep, matching the downturned collar. A few buttons run down toward the chest, but not enough that it could be made excessively forward. It's almost reminiscient of a school uniform -- except that it's awfully short. It also happens to look ridiculous held over an A-LAWS uniform, but then, most clothes will.
Rei's face is a stunned animal about to be run down by a car. This is apparently her way of seeking advice.
It might be considered a little mean to have Rei to go in and pick out colours that appeal to her, with Excellen refusing to comment on anything the younger girl pauses to peer at. Sizes.. Well, size matters, but that too comes 'next', not now.
Excellen's making mental notes as she goes. Her reasoning for her shepherding is twofold: to get an idea of what appeals to Rei, and to see how Rei handles the choices available to her. Even when her steps hesitate, Excellen is still there, smiling encouragingly.
Clothing usually looks a bit rediculous when held up against a uniform, one way or another, regardless of the figure its pressed against. When a dress is finally pulled free and held up, she can't help but feel a bit pleased. Baby steps.
"Why did you pick that one?" It is an honest question with genuine interest behind it, Excellen clasping her hands behind her back as she regards the blue and white outfit, then Rei directly. Mentally Excellen has already tarred and feathered it, and stamped it with a big red NO -- much too schooly.
Though at least it wasn't some strappy yellow hooker sundress, or something.
Then, after a little consideration, a small surprise for Rei: "...Would you prefer to speak in Japanese?" The American woman's eyes are quite serious, even as she offers a cheery grin. Getting assigned to some of the Japanese bases during her cadet days may yet prove beneficial: she can't read or write the language worth a damn, but she can speak it. With an accent, yes, but it isn't anywhere near as pronounced as Rei's has become in English.
Rei has already rejected the notion of yellow, whether she realizes it or not. Too many bad associations -- both in terms of who usually wears yellow sundresses, and the occasions on which Rei previously borrowed them. Still, this decision has not found a need to be voiced yet, and so it remains a distant consideration.
Rei looks down at the blue dress for a moment. She doesn't answer either question instantly, but that's barely even worth noting at this point. Still, for once, her token period of processing data or whatever's going on in her head isn't accompanied by a soulless stare right into the other party's eyes. Instead, it's accompanied by a soulless stare right down at a dress. The anticlimax: "I don't know," Rei admits. "Blue seemed... appropriate." The catch: Rei replies in Japanese, her answer to Excellen's second question evident in her answer to the first.
"It doesn't look... too... too..." Rei frowns, unable to find the word she wants. It's not much of a frown -- it's barely a stress of her lips -- but there it is, all the same. Rei looks back up at Excellen, although she doesn't have the same 'help please god help' air that she did when she was seeking confirmation on her dress choice. Apparently, when it comes to /word/ choice Rei is able to retain her stoicism.
"...slutty," Rei finally just comes out and says. "I don't... want to look like that." Which would probably be a load off of anyone's mind if Rei opting for 'slutty' was a possibility within the realm of most people's imaginations.
"But I do want to..." Rei puts the dress back on the rack, either tired of holding it or suitably shamed by the questioning of her motives such that she wants to try again. "I want to wear something he'll find attractive." Rei isn't looking at Excellen when she says that, and her voice takes on a distracted quality, as if she's not paying attention to what she's saying. Which is borne out when Rei suddenly snaps her head in a sharp turn to look over at her personal fashion guru: "I mean..."
/HE/ is it?
That just put a whole knew spin on things.
Japanese it is, then. Rei certainly sounds more comfortable speaking her native tongue, even if the topic is as alien to Rei as 'modesty' is to her teacher here. Well. Modesty in relation to herself, anyway. "Blue is your colour. You'll rarely look bad in it." Gloved fingers extend, lightly brushing toward Rei's hair to indicate the obvious, before it drops down to the dress in question.
"Of course, it shouldn't be the only one you ever have in your wardrobe." There's a flash of very white teeth. There are many who consider Excellen's outfit to be slutty (never mind the comments her red outfit still gets nowadays). She knows that most people don't care to look beyond the package presented, or, are simply jealous -- they lack both the figure and the confidence to pull them off.
It keeps them off balance, just as Excellen wants them to be.
She doesn't laugh at Rei's wish to Not Be That -- it is, after all, a very legit concern for a girl her age. ESPECIALLY when there's a boy involved.
So long as the boy isn't Leo Stenbuck, she is totally okay with this. Kinda. Err. "Sooooo, we're looking to dress to impress, hmmmmmmm?" Oh dear. Chuckling, her head shakes from side to side. "That dress," the school-suitable one, "is entirely wrong. You can't impress a guy if you're not confident in yourself. If you want to make a good impression, you need to look good AND feel good."
"You should have said it was for a date," she adds, mock-pouting before she moves to steer Rei a few aisles along. "That changes everything."
SOME MINUTES AGO, a blazing star blasted out of the heavens - the massive Buster Machine 1, a machine the size of a battleship with a crew of one, drops out of sublight speed and enters atmosphere smoothly, making way for an A-LAWS base near Tokyo-02, which just happens to have a battleship hangar. Noriko descends the pilot's gantry and then calls for a cab.
RIGHT NOW, Noriko steps into the mall with her cell phone in one hand and her GNXIII operation manual in her jacket pocket, having grabbed it off her console without thinking. She hasn't really had time to pick clothes, so she's just dressed in what she found: A cream tea shirt, a knee-length skirt, and her Top Squadron leather jacket, the star-like logo of the Tops proud on one breast. "So what the heck am I even looking for," she mutters, scrubbing at the back of her unbounded hair with a free hand, wandering through the stores for a little bit before, finally, /in this very moment/, flopping up against the window out front and opening up her phone to text Excellen back to the tune of, I'm here, what did you mean by my kid is misbehaving, did Dr. Hell clone me or something
Rei is given pause by some things -- not the usual delay between volleys that comes when she talks with Excellen (or anyone), but actual signs of hesitation and perhaps surprise. Her eyes widen, just a bit -- just enough. Her hand, which was reaching for another dress, stops, frozen. Rei again turns to stare at Excellen with this proto-shocked look.
"It's not a d--" Rei starts to say, and as unsocialized as she is, she knows that she's already protesting too much. "It's -- something I would like to be a date," she concedes. "That's why I went to you, because I thought you would be able to help." What Rei doesn't say: 'because you know Johnny so well and you might know what he'd like.' So Excellen is left to draw her own conclusions there.
Rei's eyes scan the racks of clothes yet again, struggling to put into words what she feels -- of course she is, because she's three months old, and the wealth of experience she has to draw on contains exactly maybe two instances of 'saying what she feels deep inside.' "I want to be desired," Rei sighs, as if she were conceding a point. Rei turns and looks up again, and something catches her attention in the storefront window. "I do. I want to be desired by--"
Rei squints, sort of. "--Coach?"
'lololol u won't believe it ^____^ lol we r dress shopping @ Super Retail Wears'
The message is thumb typed in rapid succession mid-redirection of Rei to the new set of clothing available, before the thin little cellphone is snapped closed and concealed...somewhere. It's not entirely _clear where_ because heaven knows that jacket doesn't exactly have the pockets and, err, where were we?
"Flattery will get you everywhere," she teases gently, inexplicably pleased to see Rei's usual exterior pierced to reveal an almost...normal side to the girl -- albeit not in the manner she expected, but she'll take what she can get. "I'll do my best to help you however I can, though don't worry, I won't make ya wear anythin' stupid."
Wanting to be desired is a feeling Excellen knows well. All too well, really. It's not like she hasn't been trying, when it comes to one pilot...but they're not here to assist her lack of a lovelife, now are they? "That's a lot of wants, but I think we can work with--" The sudden switch of topic to 'Coach' gets a blink, and Excellen turns about, brows arching. She meant /here/ here?!
"Hiiiiiiii No~ri~ko~!" Calls the blonde, arm snapping up to wave at the girl in question. Well, two heads are better than one, surely!
Noriko hums boredly, staring off into the black dome overhead - stars obscured by late-night lighting. Bleh. Well, Coach did want to know how well the Buster Machines could handle this kind of abuse. But now how's she going to get it back into space? BM1 can't launch into orbit on its own...she didn't even think of that. Still, it sounded like Excellen needed some help, and-- buzz, buzz. She flips her phone open, glances at it. Super Retail Wears?
She glances up and over, to the bright, flashing SUPER RETAIL WEARS neon hangs overhead. "...uh," she says to the universe.
About one minute later, she turns to look inside at the same moment as Excellen calls out to her, and Noriko stares for a couple seconds, puzzled by the sheer narrative convenience of the whole thing. But then she spies Rei there, and the whole thing begins to make a little sense. Yeah, Rei is...is pretty weird, she decides. She waves, giving a slightly puzzled laugh, and then slips into the store, jogging over to the duo. "Uh, hey!" she calls. English, for the moment, "Rei, Excellen, hi there! Uhm." She scratches the back of her slightly unkempt shoulder-length red-brown hair, adding, "So...uh, special occasion...?"
Rei stares at Noriko as she approaches. Like a hunting dog that's spotted something, her entire posture seems centered upon fixing her gaze on the jogging Top. "Hello," Rei says. Depsite Noriko speaking in English, Rei replies in Japanese. Easier that way.
For Rei, anyway.
Rei finishes reaching toward one of the racks. She takes hold of something in a very muted, light purple but doesn't pull it off of the rack. For whatever reason, she goes into one of her minor fugue states, the sort where she has to figure out exactly how she wants to say what she wants to say. It's important, after all. "Yes, Coach," Rei begins.
The blue-haired girl looks up, between Excellen and Noriko -- as in, literally, the space between the two women. Then her red eyes turn toward Excellen -- then back over, toward Noriko. "I had a problem and I wasn't sure what to do. So I asked for help." This is, in and of itself, a startling revelation, being that Rei, for all of her lost-puppyisms, is more or less as independent as pilots come.
(Aside from how she's dependent on NERV for all the medication keeping her alive, and A-LAWS for the clothes on her back, and so on and so on.)
Rei looks back at the racks of clothes, and begins moving her hand through it, as if she was judging dresses purely by feel without needing to see them. "I asked Excellen to help me select clothes that would make Johnny Domino want to sleep with me."
"Yeah, she wanted help finding a dress that wait what"
That is not what you said less than two minutes ago!
Lending aid to someone who's asked her for help is not something Excellen has a problem with. What started as 'Help me with clothes shopping' has evolved into 'help me find clothes that make me fun like you' has evolved into 'help me find clothes that make me desirable' has evolved into...
"When did that happen?!" she exclaims, honestly surprised. And entirely uncertain if she should be horrified its Domino or delighted that its not Stenbuck. At least she now knows where the 'not slutty' stipulation came from?? But still.. Pinching the bridge of her nose, arms fold across her chest and hips cant to the left, shifting her pose.
(Excellen, it might be noted, is also speaking Japanese, albeit with her American accent singing through quite clearly on the (mis)pronounciation of some words.)
Rei and Excellen make it clear they are using Noriko's language of choice, which makes her life easier; Noriko slips back into her Okinawan-hued mother tongue easily enough, offering an easy grin - perhaps bizarrely, even moreso to Rei, the notoriously inert. Noriko is a very easy person to read. Now that she has a handle on the situation, it kind of makes more sense! "Oh, a problem?" she asks, tipping her head. She's not sure what the problem would be that /clothes/ were the answer, but it can't be that bad... "Well, we're happy to help, whatever it--*"
She just kind of cuts off mid-sentence, eyes widening through various metaphors of scale until she lands at dinner plates. "uh," she croaks. "I, w-wouldn't know how to, uhm." She looks to Excellen in a manner that says MY FRIEND IS INSANE, PLEASE HELP, and hedges, helplessly, "He seems to have a thing for jackets??"
Rei continues distractedly thumbing through the racks for a few moments before casually looking up. The shock of her custodians-of-the-day doesn't seem to register on her face at all. This conversation might as well have taken a bizarre turn into 'looks like rain' or 'what do you think the Gundam Fight qualifiers are gonna be like' territory.
Rei's response to Excellen is a simple one, delivered as plainly as anything Rei ever says: "I was having trouble voicing my specific intent." Which may or may not be true. Noriko is probably far more used to Rei's modus operandi than Excellen, but even Noriko doesn't have the experience of, say, a Leo Stenbuck: Rei rarely comes out and says any more than needs to be said to get things done. Ask Leo how many times he had to virtually interrogate Rei to figure out any sort of context for what she was saying or doing at any given point in time. Go on, ask him.
Still, Rei seems unperturbed by the reactions all the same. "I'm sorry if you think I was being dishonest. I wasn't." Not 'I didn't mean to be' or 'I can see how you think that,' but -- 'I wasn't,' said as firmly as fact.
Rei then begins wandering off toward the jackets display without a word.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Where do you think you're going, young lady! "No one thinks ya were bein' dishonest," scolds the blonde instantly, immediately following after the bluenette. Though she does take a moment to share a look over her shoulder with Noriko that can be summed up as WTFMATE.
"I can understand havin' trouble pinnin' down whatcha need to say when it comes to someone you like. Bullet is utterly tongue-tied when it comes to Kusuha-chan, for example." Jackets..? She's not entirely sure about that one, but it does seem like Noriko has some insight there. And it'd certainly not hurt to look, right?
"No hard colours, and no red either - that'd clash too much with your hair and your complexion." Most jackets don't usually suit dresses, but.. Hrm. Excellen looks a little too thoughtful for this to be a good thing.
Noriko is used to Rei's MO, but while the girl does occasionally just unshyly drop huge bombs of what the hell all over a conversation, this is by far the biggest and what-the-helliest. Noriko can barely think about sex for /herself/, /other people/ is just...not something in this universe.
"Uh, I'm," she stammers, completely lost. SHe follows after the duo but only after a small delay to reassemble her EXPLODED UNIVERSE. "I, no, he probably...doesn't...just, I have his--" She frowns, lips scrunching into her cheeks as she tries and fails to vocalize her thoughts.
Excellen gets to work on actual advice, and Noriko, standing off to the side, finally just deflates with a long sigh. "So you really did like him?" she asks, and she's not sure if she's really asking Rei, per se.
Rei stares at a little denim half-jacket for a long moment before deciding that she doesn't like it. She's oblivious -- both to Excellen's thoughtful expression and Noriko's deflation off to one side. Rei does dutifully follow Excellen's advice, though -- as she skims the products on offer, she doesn't linger on anything red, or anything too bold or sharp, instead delving into pastels and the occasional khaki or cream. White and black are given passing glances but no more; previous advice remains held.
"I really do," Rei says, responding to Noriko's question under the assumption that she was being spoken to. Rei exhausts the supply of jackets more quickly than she does the dresses, but perhaps jackets feel like something less of a foreign territory to her -- or more of one, considering that her A-LAWS greatcoat is really the first one she's worn with any regularity. "He made me laugh."
That's obviously a /great/ rationale for wanting to bed someone. Rei glances over at her two supervisors, noting for the first time Excellen's scheming and hesitating to continue rummaging, sensing that something may be in the air. Her eyes flick to Noriko, too, and her explanation continues after that brief gap: "No one has ever done that before."
It's not hard to believe, but Rei underscores it anyway: "No one."
We're still not hooking you up with a yellow hooker-sundress, FYI.
Something in baby pink--no, that'd be too cloying, way too sweet, cotton candy colours just don't work with Rei. She can hear the conversation between Noriko and Rei just fine, brain setting aside the running augh arguments while mixing and matching colour ideas.
Then, SNAP. Fingers click, and she turns on her heel. "I'll be right back!"
She really isn't gone long at all, gone but a few minutes. When she comes back, she seems to have blown through several racks, with different coloured items carried in the crook of her arm. In her right hand, however, she carries a small tan jacket -- obtained from the Men's section, the smallest of the lot sought out for her purposes; it's a Chinese styled jacket with a Mandarin collar, made of cotton and looking very comfy.
Domino, what the _hell_ have you gotten her into this time. What have you gotten /yourself/ into this time?? " "This might suit for whatever," she murmurs vaguely, before looking directly at Rei. Then to Noriko. Then back again, with a small frown. "And laughter's good medicine, but.. Hon.."
She shifts a lovely pale lilac dress, long in length and better suited to summer sunshine from one arm to the other, followed by..a very orange vest and a pleated skirt. She's not entirely sure how to broach this; it's not like the extent of her past relationship with Stenbuck is much of a secret.
Christ. Stenbuck is going to have a litter of kittens when he hears about this. ..Part of her is darkly amused by the thought. "That can't be the only reason you'd want to sleep with a guy. It's pretty shallow, in fact."
Noriko sighs, visibly just...floored. "I kinda remember that," she mutters, and her fingers filter through her hair again, just needing something to do to vent the energy that's building up inside. "I didn't know it was...that much, though..." She kinda likes the look of that denim one, but whatever, and it's more of a casual kind of look than...than what Rei's asking for. Noriko is /wholly/ out of her depth.
Rei explains her reasons. Noriko gives Rei a puzzled look, but...she's got the shape of things in her head, now - just how broken Rei is, just how broken her whole life is. Just how important something like that would be. Just how much she hasn't been able to do for the person she thinks of as a dear friend, even if it's not entirely a natural phenomenon. She sighs, hanging her head, and mutters a miserable, "Sorry. I guess I haven't..." been trying hard enough, she doesn't say, not sure if that's even what she should say. She hasn't been /trying/ at all. She's not used to people you have to force to laugh. She looks just slightly miserable.
Noriko looks up, a little surprised at Excellen's...reprimand? She's pretty sure Jung---
No, better not try to compare Jung to this situation.
Rei stops what she's doing -- idly browsing without direction, if not necessarily without purpose -- when Excellen reappears. The girl observes the clothes being pushed around in the blonde's arms, adopting a look of vague concentration. She doesn't seem to object to any of them, but then--
SOME TIME AGO
Rei Ayanami is getting ready for her second date with Leo Stenbuck. Misato Katsuragi shoves some of Asuka's clothes at her. "Wear these."
NOW
Rei's study of Excellen's choices is cut off by Excellen's note on Rei's choice. This is the moment when Rei stops just kind of absorbing the store's ambience and focuses on one very specific thing -- that is, Excellen. Rei's red eyes turn upward sharply, but her head is not so quick to rise. It does lift, though, and Rei looks up at Excellen with an expression -- an expression! -- that approximates 'hurt.'
What Rei is thinking is that she's an idiot for ever thinking that anyone could possibly understand how she feels.
What Rei is doing is taking the bundle of clothes out of Excellen's arms, murmuring a distant and wounded "Thank you," and giving Noriko a sidelong glance before turning on a heel and walking toward the registers. Her pace isn't an impatient huffy stride, but it isn't exactly a head-hung Charlie Brown shuffle either. It's a deliberately paced movement away from the pair, without looking back.
Given who's saying it, you'd think she'd all but be falling over herself to hook some kids up! But no, Excellen appears to be..attempting to be a voice of reason? What.
One no one seems to be quite understanding, given it's coming from her, apparently. She can't fail to miss the hurt look, given that it is so /un-Rei/, and is caught entirely offguard by it. Thus, there's no struggle when the clothes are removed from her arms, and the bitter little 'thank you' uttered.
And then off Rei...stomps? Excellen can't help but feel rather bemused, something very evident as she looks over at Noriko. "What is it with teenagers in love anyway?" It makes *her* want to stomp a foot in frustration, almost. 'Your kid' is more of a handful than might be obvious at first glance, Takaya. "I don't seem to be able to say the right thing to anyone lately," she adds in complaint, in English, and not without a little tiredness. She hasn't slept well in a week, and rolled out of bed at 2am to help Rei when asked..
"Rei." If she can close the gap before the registers, she will. She has very long legs or catching up at a faster pace might look like she's trying to run after the bluenette. As it is, catching up will involve that personal space invasion she's so fond of; an arm, slinging itself to either loop over her shoulders or through the crook of one full arm.
"Rei." She says the name again, making sure she has the girl's attention, before resuming talk in Japanese. "Look at me, please."
Noriko is confused. This is out of her depth. She liked Smith almost at first glance, really -- OK, no, but he grew on her, sure, but she never--I mean, maybe once or twice, at night, but, she totally couldn't even really think about it very---
Noriko scuffs her toe, awkwardly, thinking, not sure what to...do, say. Rei is, in this, more mature than Noriko, and Noriko finds that just as backwards and disconcerting as how different the real Rei is from the one she befriended in the other world. But that doesn't--
Rei is hurting, she thinks. /I'm/ hurting her. Goddammit! Rei storms off, and even with all the psychic power of a turnip Noriko can tell her friend is in pain. She looks up at Excellen and is visibly alarmed by the whole exchange. She sure /is/ a handful!!
Excellen tries to maask that she's running. Noriko just wants to wail for her to wait, but just walks alongside, tries to think of what to /say/, murmuring a weak and uneasy and slightly scatterbrained, "Rei, it's...I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"
Incidentally, she calls her just Rei, completely devoid of honorific - the kind of address the Japanese use only for their closest friends (or subhuman subordinates, hi Gendo)
Noriko isn't the only one out of her depth! The Buster pilot may have the psychic power of a turnip -- but this goes hand-in-hand with Rei having roughly the same level of ability with regard to 'dealing with complex interpersonal dynamics revolving around complicated and difficult emotions.'
Still, at least Rei isn't the type to throw a tantrum. When Excellen's arm loops around her, Rei stops in her tracks, as if someone had put a traffic light in her way. She stands there in the aisle, next to a rack of sunglasses, and slowly turns to look at Excellen. Her eyes are a little wet.
"I don't know any other way to explain it to you," Rei says, in hushed, resigned Japanese. She even /sounds/ sad, but it's not a lachryimose blubbery sort of tone -- it's like someone took her already grey monotone and darkened the clouds overhead a bit. "Johnny connects with me in a way... that I... I don't... words don't exist. Only feelings." Rei turns away, swinging her head -- toward Noriko, as a matter off fact, although Noriko can freely observe that Rei has shut her eyes, which is her minimalist way of expressing a grimace. "Like what Leo must have made /her/ feel--"
If Rei Ayanami had a voiceover track, this would be the exact moment where not only does the needle scratch across the spinning record, but the turntable also explodes into a mushroom cloud.
Rei's red eyes snap open, looking at Noriko. There's -- shame, maybe. Fear? Guilt? Something vague, something doubleplus ungood nonetheless. "It's not shallow," Rei asserts, staring at Noriko as she says it, as if hoping for backup -- the unspoken end of that sentence is 'right, Coach?'
Never mind that Rei may have just accidentally given the entirely wrong impression about why Leo dumped her.
Rei is trying very hard indeed to not mind what she just said, in point of fact. "I don't have... I don't have anything else to give him other than..." Sex? Her body? Cheap thrills and self-degradation?
"...proof that I really feel this way."
Excellen doesn't even have the psychic powers of a buttered brick. Being turnip-level is worlds better than she'll ever hope to be, Noriko!!
Bright blue eyes meet red very squarely, so that Rei has no doubt of Excellen's sincerity. "You should let a girl finish 'fore you start assumin' you're done listenin'," she notes, a slight pout forming. It is very /very/ unnerving to do this, by the way, primarily because Excellen's not sure what she'll see reflected back at her -- a concern made moot when Rei turns away.
Weight shifts from foot to foot. ..Oh god damn, she's not crying, is she? Go go Excellen! You're really failing your roll at this today..
She lets a trace of worry show in her eyes - *for* Rei, not because of Rei - before offering a lopsided smile. "I'm sorry if ya thought that's all I thought on the matter. Cuz its not." She said it'd be shallow *if* it was the /only/ reason, after all. Listening to Rei attempt to explain simply confirms the obvious, especially when she looks to Noriko for confirmation - the obvious bond between student and teacher makes her smile. And, perhaps, a little envious. "See? You don't have to worry none at all, cuz it's not the -only- reason, for you. That much you're makin' very clear."
There follows a long, drawn sigh. Lets get to the heart of the matter, shall we? "Johnny Domino is like a little brother to me."
..This is probably *not* what either of the other two might expect her to say. Then again, she'd been there and fought the angel that had possessed the Chimera, had done her damnedest to save the rotten little punk's life. She'd scolded him loud and long while shooting both Bardiel and the Spiral King for his sake.. He owes her one for this, she thinks with a trace of irritation.
"He's a pain-in-the-ass jerk with a way bigger heart than most people give 'im credit for. And I know he's very fond of you." Gloved fingers reach to gently touch Rei's cheek, before moving to sweep back and tuck a loose strand of blue hair behind an ear. "There are many ways ta show someone ya care, and they don't all require words."
"..I am sorry that I upset you. I just don't wantcha ta do somethin' you'll regret, cuz you deserve better than that, Rei."
(The issue of 'her', she thinks, can be raised another day, tucking it into her memory for safe keeping.)
Noriko just listens, and tries to understand. Relating to Rei as a human being requires you not to think like a human being. It's probably the most emotionally rending part of the whole process - she's hurting, she's hurting /so much/, but...but you can't approach it like you'd approach a normal person. She tries to think about it that way, but it's so /hard/. Noriko - for all she and Rei share certain startling similarities in the arcs of their lives - just does not 'get' the girl so easily. So she looks deeply worried, unsure what to say or how to say it, what to think or even how to think it. Rei feels this connection...Noriko remembers meeting JOhnny, some of their early meetings. Did he like her then? But no, this is--totally, another world entirely, isn't it? Like Rei doesn't...
"...it's not shallow," she says, nodding, looking at Rei with a firm nod. What the hell HAPPENED between her and Leo!? "But... at the same time...Rei, it feels more like...." She smiles, trying to show she cares - reaching out, hoping Rei doesn't shy away from her touch to her shoulder, abusing Psychically Imposed BFF Priveleges for just a moment. "Like you're going for the first tool you know about. Excellen's right, they don't all require words, and...going for, for, that," she blushes just saying the euphemism, "is...extreme. It's not a small thing. I'm..."
She takes a slow, deep breath, and for a moment daring to make this personal, says, I, not we, when she concludes: "I just want...to make sure you make a good choice. For you."
The closeness Rei feels at this precise moment in time is a feeling that is not exactly brand new to her, but one in which the novelty has yet to become any less vivid. Her eyes remain shut as her friends speak to her and touch her -- it's this physical contact that seems to calm her down the most, beginning with Excellen's hand touching her cheek and fixing her hair, and peaking when Noriko reaches out and grasps her shoulder. Rei feels a connection that even a month ago would be hard for her to imagine -- and beyond the specific bonding experience of this chat, she feels /connected/, in a more cosmic sense.
Which is why it hurts even more. Rei wants badly to backtrack, to take her earlier slip-up and explain everything. To sit Noriko and Excellen down and tell them that she's going to die soon and that there's nothing that they can do about it but that they shouldn't be sad because she can't in good conscience continue existing anyway and it's for the better on a universal scale. They would, of course, reject this, as friends tend to do with elaborate plans of suicide, however noble. So Rei doesn't tell them that she knows she's being hasty; she doesn't tell them that she's chosen to express herself this way because it will almost certainly be the last chance she ever has to do so with anyone.
Instead, Rei remains silent, and still. The words reverberate inside of her -- Excellen's bond with Johnny. Her own bond with Noriko. She feels connected, and that means she feels the weight of these connections. But she'll never understand them as much as she wants. The only person she knows understands her is Amuro Ray, and that's... a whole other story.
And then maybe Johnny in second place.
"Excellen... thank you for being my friend," Rei says, opening her eyes and looking at the blonde ATXan. She no longer seems on the verge of tears -- instead, her face is back to its usual grave look of serious intent, but that odd juxtaposition only leds a bit more force to her words. Her head slowly turns to Noriko: "And thank you... for being my Coach." Rei's arms are full, so she can't exactly reach out and touch or hug. But she can smile. A tiny bit. Just a tiny bit.
Of course, then the moment's ruined after a second that last minutes when some shopgirl comes up to inform the group that they're blocking the main aisle.
Ignorance is bliss.
"You're welcome." The weight of the second thank you helps keep Excellen blinkered from truths that seem to lurk out the corner of one's eye, as her shoulders relax a bit to see Rei understand what it is they're trying to say.
Noriko's blush does get a bit of a grin, though, but she can't help but nod with enthusiastic agreement. The world needs more hopeless romantics like these two, after all, or else there'd only be jaded lotharios everywhere..!
(And one in particular may have found himself slid further towards the Contempt end of the scale with Rei's words, to boot.)
Patting the little Lancer's shoulder, there's a pause when they're interrupted by the shop girl, who gets a very dirty look from the blonde. /JEEZE/ some people are ~so~ rude. "C'mon, lets getcha all paid up. You can sort through and see watcha like best when you get home."
Noriko is somewhat attuned to Rei's struggle - she doesn't...get it, doesn't understand the truth of it. But she's better informed in her way than Excellen is, and maybe anyone except the actual perpetrators of crime against Rei. (Or Leo Stenbuck, but see again: crimes, Rei) She's putting pieces together, slowly, and that means...
Means that when Rei takes that long time to put together her answer, Noriko wonders what she's thinking. Means that Noriko wonders what the meaning is behind Rei's non-answer to their assertions. Means that Noriko tries to dwell in the world of Rei's doom and, perhaps, salvation - but her stay is obliterated when Rei gives her that smile, and all Noriko can do is give her a big smile back. "I hope I'm more than just your Coach by now," she says, and her hand squeezes a little tighter against Rei's shoulder.
And then she's startled out of the warm fuzzies when the sales lady shows up, and Noriko looks at her like she had just descended on a one-meter-diameter flying saucer and declared she would free the oppressed woodland creatures with her weaponized paperclips.
"Oh," she says, after a few seconds. "R...right, we're..." in the middle of the hall, and, argh. "Y...yeah, let's...go up front, and, yeah." She glances at Excellen, nervous. She totally saw that look, lady!!!
But for now, not the concern: She moves aside so Rei can move, and hovers near her the rest of the way.